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The day she was born, I remember it well. She was in a hurry to come into this world. I was scared, but excited, it was painful but wonderful being a part of this miracle. I heard the baby cry. It's a girl they said. Oh my, please let me see, I must see. She was small and red with a head full of dark hair. I saw a glimpse, an instant, a glance, then they took her away. Oh, how I wish I could hold her, just for a moment, but no I must remember she isn't mine. And I prayed.
Daddy, did you see her, is she alright, what does the lady think of her? "Yes, she looked just like you when you were born. She is beautiful and perfect. The lady had turned to me with tears in her eyes and said , it was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen." I looked into those ice blue eyes, and cried. "This is it, isn't it Daddy? I can't turn back now." And I prayed.
I was anxious to go home, but I felt so alone. Did I do the right thing? Am I so horrible? No, Ralph, leave her alone! She deserves a good life. She is with good people who love her and will bring her up right. Don't destroy the union we have put together. Let her and her parents be happy. Will this feeling go away? Why do I have such an emptiness inside? As I hugged my little dog tighter, I prayed.
The first Christmas and the first birthday came. What is she like? Is she walking yet? I wish I could hear her voice. I imagine she says Mama. I imagine she is laughing. I imagine she is precious as she grabs the pretty packages of bright colors. I imagine her clutching the cake and getting it all over her face. And I prayed.
The years come and go. It's that special day again. Will that emptiness ever go away. I don't understand why it still hurts so. I wonder, is she alright? Does she wonder about me? What are the things she likes? Colors, music, food and clothes. I want to know, I wish I knew. Lord, give her love, joy, peace, and all the things she deserves. I remember what I was doing at that special age. I envision she is smart. I envision she has a loving caring heart. I envision her with long brown hair. I envision her with a gentleness and softness about her. Lord, protect her and guide her in everything she does. Maybe one day, I'll know. I pray I will know. I know I will never forget the day she was born.
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